

Beep-beep, coming through, time to brush my teeth-well, well, don’t you look hot again-okay, faint on you later. Otherwise, I’ll need some kind of house scooter to motor around on my butt all day. If she and I are going to live under the same roof, I can’t be falling over every time she has the audacity to exist. I can barely breathe.Īir squeezes into my lungs like I’m sucking it through a straw-sized snorkel. She bites the corner of her glossy pink lip and scrutinizes every possible curve from the waist down-and with legs like hers, it’s a long way down-before flitting up to find mine, spanning those sexual leagues in an instant, and landing her gaze like a side-kick to the gut.

The Gigantic Rock glinting in the mirrors, her thumbs dip below the waistline of her yoga pants, cruise outward along the elastic, and tug once. She eyes the contours of her breasts in an understated Calvin Klein sports bra she examines her sculpted midriff and the concavity of her bellybutton. Her head tilts, and her unreadable gaze scans from three angles every inch of her toned physique. The mirror reflections copy her like evil clones. Her hands glide down her hips as she turns sideways. Four, if we count the sweaty, pheromone-blasting, flesh-and-blood Mary in the middle. Three of her peering back at me with wide eyes. I find Mary in the walk-in closet after her workout. Those skydiving mind-control monkeys have been known to bite! Return to the Collective Unconscious, this time with Listerine-chugging stoners, Hollyweirdos, commie-alien-kung fu robots, one space gorilla-unicorn, and an exceedingly lovesick Vladimir Putin. The stage is set for a confrontation that threatens to strip a defenseless Edger of his loyal protector just when he needs her most. Without a fully functional psychic superhero, their team of spies can no longer order him to probe Mary’s mind for ill intent. When Mary confesses her desire to kill the world leader whose assassination Edger’s supposed to prevent, Edger’s superpowers pick the worst time to stop working. Less clear? That someone may be the Prime Minister of Australia.


But she’s so hopelessly out of his league, it’s clear someone’s going to get hurt. Edger is falling for Mary, his bodyguard, kick-ass spy, and cover wife.
